Funny joke about real life problem

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[starttext]TO: Microsoft Technical Support,
I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I found that the new program began giving unexpected errors. It automatically took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Cricket 5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Saturday Sports Bar 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead. I Can not seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications.

I am thinking about installing Girlfriend 8.0 but unable to
uninstall Wife 1.0 after hundred of unsuccessful attempts. It seems uninstall failed to work at all on this new software.

Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase help me.

With regards,. Victim
**************************************************************

REPLY FROM MICROSOFT TECH SUPPORT

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic
misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Please note that Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to run everything. You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under alimony Support and Solicitors Fees).

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C:APOLOGISE.EXE program and avoid attempting to use the "Esc-key". It may be necessary to run C:APOLOGISE.EXE a number of times but hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal.

Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program, can be very
rewarding. To get the most out of it consider buying additional software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not under any circumstances install Secretary 36.24.36 (Short Skirt version) as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly crash.


In no case try to install the free software (Mother-in-Law 1.0) that comes with WIFE 1.0 operating system. Installing this software would lead to Not Responding messages from Wife1.0 operating system.

Also, as soon as you upgrade Wife 1.0 to Mother 1.0, you will start receiving children "Pop-Ups" which will permanently reside in your system and your system will start running on low resources. You will then need to uninstall/delete many of your favorite applications in order to avoid frequent system hang-ups.


Sympathies From Microsoft Technical Support[endtext]



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